Because Your Day Isn’t Official Until You Hear The Dan LeBatard Rant

Basketball, Ed The Sports Fan — By on June 21, 2013 at 4:38 pm

papi and dan lebatard

If you haven’t been paying attention, the only three-man weave that competes with our own podcast is the trio of Dan LeBatard, friend of the family Bomani Jones, and of course Papi, on ESPN’s Dan LeBatard is Highly Questionable. With Dan and Bo exchanging in witty quips and savvy insight, along with the greatness that is Papi, DLHQ has become daily DVR-material. However, one thing that has been a staple of LeBatard has been his rants on his ESPN Radio station in defense of his hometown Miami Heat, where he screams to the top of his lungs and lets the world know how he feels. Its some of the greatest radio you’ll ever hear.

My personal journey with the Dan LeBatard rant began last year as the Miami Heat beat the Oklahoma City Thunder in five games, and DL preceded to lay waste to my team, my home state and everyone in the media that had something crazy to say about his Heat. I was still bitter about the loss, but hearing this damn near made me cry tears of laughter, and it helped me cope during those trying times. Now, on the day after the Miami Heat overcame a 3-2 deficit to defeat the San Antonio Spurs in seven games, LeBatard has now set his sights on Southern Texas, Spurs nation and of course, the national media and their slander of his Heat.

Here quickly are the five best quotes from the rant:

1. You have a Popovich, we pop that coochie!

2. You have a quaint bus that takes folks down a river, we have a Bang Bus!

3. Danny Green thought it was a best of 5 series!

4. Tony Parker is French, of course he’s gonna retreat at the end!

5. Duncan is from the Virgin Islands, when LeBron gets done vacationing there, they’re just gonna be….ISLANDS!

Someone get Dan LeBatard a throat lozenge, asaptually.

Related: Wrestling With Sports – On The Heat, Fandom & LeBron (via Day and A Dream)

E. Maisonet, III

Eddie Maisonet is an appreciator of the ultimate reality show that is sports.

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