How To Make It In America (Being A Dallas Cowboys Fan)

Football, J. Tinsley, Soul On Ice — By on October 3, 2012 at 3:30 am

Look at this. Even the First Lady of the United States is disgusted with America’s Team.

A week following the NFL’s most controversial Monday Night Football finish ever, we knew something unique was bound to happen between the Chicago Bears and Dallas Cowboys. Either Chicago would use the platform to really stick it to Jay Cutler, allowing DeMarcus Ware to perform the first decapitation on live television. Or Dallas – much to the amusement of a great majority of the country – would lay an egg so collassoal the season as we know it would take on a different identity moving forward.

Well, the latter happened, and to refrain beating around the bush we got The Sports Fan Journal’s resident Cowboys fans – Kenny Masenda and Justin Tinsley – to put the bottle down momentarily and speak for an entire fan base not knowing whether they’re coming or going. Kenny offers insight on what the mood is in Dallas while Tinsley waxes poetics on how Cowboy Nation is taking the loss far beyond the not-so-friendly confines of Jerry World. From there, five simple yet powerful suggestions are offered for those following America’s Team. Use them how you see fit. Just realize it’s going to be a long two weeks for those pledging allegience to The Star.

Kenny:

The morning after a Dallas Cowboys game in the Metroplex can tell you many things. After a win, things are moderately peaceful around here. I say moderately, because the Cowboys beat Tampa Bay last weekend, but it was one of those sickening wins. Even though they won, it was so ugly, it was hard to fully digest the taste of victory. After a loss, though? Lord, after a loss, it is bad around here, and after a performance like the one the masses saw on Monday Night Football - a performance that summed up the first quarter of the Cowboys season so far - it was about as despicable a performance that mine eyes have seen in quite some time.

Tony Romo threw five picks. Granted, all of them weren’t his fault, but most of them were. Dez Bryant had his first 100-yard game of the season, but that was overshadowed by his porous miscues during his routes and some unforgivable drops. The defense finally folded and gave up the ghost, and the overall tenor in Cowboys Stadium had a funeralistic (I made that word up; sue me) feel to it, as Cow fans wallowed in pity and the Bears fans in attendance turned Jerry’s World into Soldier Field 2.0.

This is what I see being up close. It was disgusting. It was disgraceful. It was deplorable, demeaning, despondent and absolutely despicable. At the end of the first quarter of the Cowboys 2012 season, things are mixed – not entirely horrible, but far from a bastion of harmony either.

Tins:

You know, in hindsight, we should have known this wasn’t going to end well thanks to the whole male cheerleader piece NFL Countdown did prior to kickoff. Not that there’s anything wrong with choosing to be one if that’s your cup of tea, but it’s almost comparable to wearing a Mitt Romney t-shirt in a black-owned barbershop these days. A loss on Monday night would have been fine. It’s not like it’s never happened before, and it’s not like Dallas’ new stadium is any sort of home-field advantage (while the building is huge, it may have the worst home crowd participation outside of first-half Miami Heat non-playoff games). Taking an L going down swinging is one thing. Taking a L with no sense of motivation, intensity or accountability is something totally different.

Cowboys fans can be annoying. I admit that. I’m one of them. But get any of us in a serious conversation, we’ll tell you we have no clue what to expect from this team from week to week. It’s cliche as all hell, but Dallas is as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, as you’ll see with any American-born business. That’s where we’re at right now as a fan base. We’re embarrassed, frustrated, borderline depressed, but somehow still the most blindly optimistic fans in football. Maybe Tony needs to start drawing Dez’s routes on his hands playground-style in the huddle. Maybe we could actually commit to running the ball instead of throwing it 50+ times a game. Maybe we could begin sending care packages to Bill Cowher now in hopes that’ll change his mind when this season almost inevitably blows up in our face. Maybe this whole “Dallas-is-the-best-team-of-the-era” thing skips a generation and our kids will reap the benefits of our sorrow. Maybe we all look back on this thing in a few months from our local AA class and laugh when we mount a late-season run to the playoffs.

I don’t know. Hell, I stopped trying to figure this thing out a long time ago. Life in Dallas hasn’t been right since we iced our own kicker.

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    11 Comments

  • Given the obnoxiousness during the 90s and the insistence on reminding me anytime I try to make a logical argument with a Cowboys fan in present-day terms about the “five rings,” I never have and never will feel sympathy for a Cowboys fan. I hate you all, even though I love you all.

    First place.

  • Fuck the Cowboys.

    This is one of the greatest things I’ve ever read. Great work Tins and Ken.

    -Ed.

  • Larry says:

    The Rangers are playing like the Cowboys on Monday night. I’m not sure if that’s going to help.

  • Chris says:

    This is brilliant work by the good Doctor and Tinsley. As a Browns fan, I shy away from Cowboys slander and shade, but to watch the fans voice their displeasure at the way Jerry World has turned into a Ho-Tel, Mo-Tel, Holiday Inn for opposing teams is one of the great things about the NFL in social media realms. I think they’ll be okay though…once Jason Garrett is gone.

  • De'Shay says:

    As disgusted as I was on Monday night (I was pretty damn disgusted) I tried my best to pull some positives out of this game.

    1. No false starts; O-line looks a little better
    2. Dez is playing for more than 1 quarter nowadays
    3. Romo didn’t throw six

    Now that I have that out of the way, I want Jason Garrett gone, I’d prefer Gruden or Cowher, and I’m in need of prayer. At this point I’d be happy with 1 out of 3. Struggle.

  • Joe Simmons says:

    As a Cowboys fan and apologist I have to say that this is about where I stand on every issue as well. It’s nice to see that I am not the only one on the struggle as well. It’s time for the franchise to get some new and innovative ideas as we haven’t been relevant since 1995. I am not sure how I feel about Jerry Jones and his son as GM. I am also confused about how I feel about Jason Garrett as a head coach. He is learning on the job and we need a person who is aggressive on the job.

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