Andrew Bynum’s Philadelphia Story: MF Doom – Let Me Watch

Basketball, The Rev — By on January 31, 2013 at 5:35 am


Andrew Bynum, who was supposed to become the centerpiece of the Philadelphia 76ers, still has yet to take the court for his new team. He thinks he’ll make his Sixer debut after the NBA All-Star break, maybe. Then again, maybe not.

So far, this whole experience has been the real-life equivalent of the Viktor Vaughn (aka MF Doom) song “Let Me Watch.”

For starters, it was love at first sight for the Sixers and their fans. They had finally gotten the franchise center that they hadn’t had since Moses Malone, the first potential superstar player since Allen Iverson’s first ride around — and they showed Bynum that “love at first sight.”

He flashed the grin, said all the right things. He spoke, we listened. He listened, we spoke. We couldn’t help but think of all that flashing potential, but then, whispers on the phone that his knees were worse than first thought. There was all this talk and the Sixers ain’t even seen Bynum yet.

Then he said some stupid shit, injured himself bowling, and started getting more attention for his hair than his career. The longer it goes on, the more we doubt this shit is gonna work.

Now all Bynum can do is what he’s done all season, watch. So we let him watch, but is he gonna let us watch? Because if he doesn’t soon, the Sixers and their fans would rather masturbate than fuck with Andrew Bynum.

Just get out there on the court and let me watch.

Rev. P. Revere

Reverend Paul Revere, aka Joe Boland, is a sports blogger out of Philadelphia whose life revolves around sports 365 and a quarter days per year. Keep up with Rev at his own personal blog, The House That Glanville Built and on Twitter.

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  • JAG says:

    The Sixers’ front office has concocted a delightfully sinful scheme. If Philly makes the playoffs this year, they have to turn over their first round pick to Orlando. But the pick is lottery protected.

    So the idea is to fully rest Bynum and let him be completely healthy for next season. He may play a little at the end of this season to knock off the rust and further disguise the deception as long as they are hopelessly out of the playoff race. Don’t tell me you bought that bowling injury ruse.

    Then you grab a promising PF or SG with the 9th or 10th pick. If he pans out, suddenly you’re the 2nd best lineup in the East.

    “So bold, so devious, yet so simple. It’s the perfect plan.” J. Seinfeld

  • JAG says:

    Of course, I suggested a scenario that would prevent this type of tanking from occurring. You’ve made your disagreement clear so I’ll leave it be, sir.

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