Perhaps you’ve heard the most recent edition of the greatest podcast in the history of podcasts, The Unsportsmanlike Conduct Show. Perhaps you haven’t. A recurring topic on this week’s show centered around Seattle Seahawks defensive back Richard Sherman.
You see, TSFJ – well, at least Till, Ed, Rev and myself – are fans of Sherman. Why? Well, I’m glad you asked.
1. To quote Ed, the Compton, California, native is the new age and defensive version of Chad Johnson. The man talks trash. The man talks trash quite well in the sense his stuff is completely factual. Furthermore, the good kid from the M.A.A.d. City talks trash so well you almost want to invite him to the family cookout next summer.
2. He called out Tom Brady, lived to talk and tweet about it, and swing his dreads. Legend.
3. The man is physical as all hell in a position being rendered more and more handicapped by new rules from Emperor Goodell and his band of merry men.
4. To piggyback off the first point, Sherman is the voice of a defense that is, for lack of better words, downright scary. Sherm and Brandon Browner command the outside. Bruce Irvin emerged as one of the most intimidating forces coming off the line in 2012. That and plus he’s sort of like the football Big Meech.
6. Maybe we like to believe this is how we would approach football given we were genetic freaks of nature. Lord knows I would. And in the slim chance I got beat, I’d pull a Darrelle Revis hamstring injury with no shame whatsoever.
7. There’s a chance he’s awesome at beer pong, although this has yet to be confirmed.
8. There’s also a chance he picks Matt Ryan off and pulls off the Deion Sanders touchdown celebration in the Georgia Dome in a move that could easily find itself the sports moment of the year and we’re only in January. Don’t screw this up, Matty Ice.
9. Because the headline “Richard Sherman Mentoring Sonics’ Cousins” cannot get here soon enough (pending, you know, Cousins doesn’t get shipped out of town in the coming weeks). That and this just happened. Pretty much, there’s some higher power at work who is also a Richard Sherman fan, and we’re not about to ruin the good vibes the Pacific Northwest is experiencing right now.
10. He’s a teammate of Marshawn Lynch, who indirectly gave us a top five YouTube video of all time and I’m pretty sure is hybrid of a H3 Hummer and Donkey Kong. That, plus no one has heard Lynch speak in over two years making him the scariest man alive. His nickname is “Beast Mode,” he has a diet of strictly Skittles and his helmet visor is nothing short of petrifying. Still don’t believe the hype? Check this quote from teammate Sydney Rice:
“I’ve had a few [cornerbacks] this year tell me to block them and don’t block the safety if Marshawn is coming around the edge. I won’t say any names, but they’re definitely a little scared of Marshawn when he comes around the edge, as they should be.”
There’s nothing else that needs to be said. Good day, sirs and ma’ams.
Feel free to hit Sherman on Twitter to let him know the news. Until then, take a look at this awesome video of the man of the hour mic’d up during the divisional match-up against the Redskins. Trent Williams face mush and all.