The 9 Body Parts I Would Donate To Our Befallen AthletesBaseball, Basketball, Football, Hockey, Lists, No Class Friday, Soccer — By Dillon Friday on August 1, 2013 at 10:13 am
When it was announced this week that United States and Bolton Wanderers midfielder Stuart Holden had torn his ACL in the Gold Cup Final last Sunday, my heart dropped. Holden has spent the better part of two years recovering from knee injuries sustained both on the pitch and in rehab. He deserves a bit of good fortune after so much turmoil.
As I let the news sink in a little more, I thought “I would gladly donate my knees to Stuart Holden,” which in turn led me to the inevitable question: “What other athletes current and in the past would I donate body parts to to prolong their careers?”
After all, I am a retired athlete myself who endured his fair share of bumps and bruises but for the most part emerged from his career, which is a strong word here, injury free. Since I no longer believe in running or exercise in general, my appendages (save for one) are quite expendable.
This of course assumes that once the recipients are affixed with my donations they will return to their pre-injury form. I know that such an outcome is unlikely but for the sake of the post let’s ignore the reality. Some of these men have been dead for years, so you might as well question my necromancy skills while you’re at it.
I’ll hand out elbows, knees, hips, and feet in a sort of remix to The Wiggles’ greatest hit. Read on to find out who gets what, or at least to indulge in body part news that doesn’t involve Anthony Weiner.