Picture Perfect: When Dr. J Put Larry Bird & Kevin McHale On A PosterBasketball, J. Tinsley — By J. Tinsley on February 5, 2013 at 5:00 am
1. Dr. J’s mini-fro so aerodynamically proportioned here, it’s not even funny. That’s the thing, though. Was there any NBA player who enjoyed their celebrity in the ’80s more and probably had sex with more women than Julius Erving? Think about it. Ladies loved the guy (just ask JaVale McGee‘s mama). His interviews were always smooth as newborn baby skin. The ‘fro was never not in tip-top condition, regardless of length. He was a dunking machine and chicks dig dunks. Seriously, outside of Magic Johnson – and I’m sure the gap between Magic and #2 is probably wide – but being Dr. J in the ’80s had to be dope as hell. It just had to be.
2. Who the hell did Larry Bird think he fooling? And Kevin McHale, too? Combined, their vertical in this picture had to be something south of eight and a half inches off the ground. Look where there hands are in relation to the ball. They stood no chance.
3. Bostonians have hilarious accents, so hearing the collective “FAWK!” from the crowd would have been awesome, too.
4. The Converses! The Nikes!
5. Dr. J definitely has the “motherfucker” face. You know, the kind of face when you dunk the ball and scream at the top of your lungs, “Motherfucker, get off me!,” or some variation of that. At the park, this either leads to a fight or the game being stopped for like a minute because the entire park went apeshit. That’s another thing. There aren’t many greater basketball moments than when someone gets dunked on at the park and it feels like the entire park shuts down for a good five minutes. Is it over exaggeration? Of course it is, but when a “motherfucker dunk” presents itself, you’ve got to treat it as such. “Motherfucker dunks” are the shit. I have no clue why I’m cursing so much.
In all seriousness though, the Boston/Philadelphia rivalries from the ’80s were must-see-TV but never quite get their just due because of Boston’s decade long power struggle with the Lakers, and later Detroit. In an ideal world which has long since passed, Boston and Philly meet again in the playoffs this year headlined by the Rajon Rondo/Jrue Holliday slugfest and the Andrew Bynum/Kevin Garnett cold war in the post. A “motherfucker dunk” from Bynum on Garnett as the trailer on a fast break would have been appreciated, too.
In an ideal world.