The 5 Reasons Why (We Think) That Miami Heat Lady Gave The Finger To Joakim Noah

Basketball, The Fam — By on May 9, 2013 at 2:22 am

miami heat fan real mad
If you haven’t seen the photo above, then yes, let the shock and awe of this woman hit you right in the face with the middle finger. This is Joakim Noah walking off the court after being ejected in an eventual 118-75 Miami Heat drubbing of the Chicago Bulls. Noah was ejected (along with Taj Gibson, who went on an eff you tirade that was somewhat epic) after arguing with officials and began to head to the locker room, but before he could get there, this crazy lady decided to flip Noah the bird.

We’re not sure why she (and the fella next to her) was so irate, especially since her team won by 43 points, but we have a few ideas as to why. We present these reasons to you without additional comment. Enjoy.

1. Yannick Noah took her out for a nice seafood dinner and never called her back. By seafood dinner, we mean sex.

2. She is jealous of Joakim Noah’s glorious hair bun.

3. She was mad that he declined her request for the newest BangBus Sex and the City movie?

4. She was mad that Joakim Noah recognized her as Alundra Blaze, the 3-time WWF Women’s Champion, and she threatened to hit him with her finishing move, the Airplane Spin.

5. She went to that nice wine and cheese party and Joakim Noah forgot to tell her how good the cheese was….just like somebody forgot to tell Arsenio.

As always, stay classy Miami Heat fans, stay classy.

Update: It turns out the woman’s name is Filomen Tobias, widow of former CNBC personality, Seth Tobias. It turns out the one-finger salute she gave Joakim was rather G-rated for her spotty past, which includes – you know, nothing too serious – begin accused of murdering Seth. From a New York Times feature back in 2007:

The brothers, Samuel, Spence, Scott and Joshua, claim that Filomena Tobias drugged her husband and lured him into the pool, where he drowned. A former assistant to Seth Tobias has told the police that Filomena Tobias confessed to him that she had cajoled her husband, who was on a cocaine binge, into the water, promising him sex with a male go-go dancer know as “Tiger.” A lawyer for Filomena Tobias has called the claims outrageous.

Yep. Enjoy your Thursday, America.

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    4 Comments

  • J. Tinsley says:

    Anytime we can get a Chappelle Show reference out of the deal, we’re all better off because of it.

  • Cell© says:

    Hahaha Damnit, man. Susan Summers need to sit her synthetic ass down.

  • mclaw3 says:

    She is a HAM! Seriously, as die-hard a basketball fan as I am, I wouldn’t take it that far and I’ve seen some dirty stuff on the court. Typical Miami lames trying to make people think she’s an actual Heat fan. Go have a martini and a valium. The list was hilarious by the way!

  • silver fox says:

    I’d be lying if I said I’ve never had the urge to give Noah the ol one finger salute. He’s just one of those guys that you love if he is on your team, and love to hate if he isn’t. The way he plays combined with his obnoxious two-handed put the guns in the holster celebration just get under your skin. I was at a Sixers-
    Bulls game and he did that stupid celebration after every made basket, and it was incredibly irritating. Dude is just a natural at agitating opposing fans.

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