Because of an obligation to one of my best friends since childhood, I hopped on a plane from Oakland to Oklahoma City for four days of wedding hijinks and tomfoolery. (Congratulations to Ashley and Jarrell, you two are beautiful.)
If you're paying attention to the details above, then you've realized from a personal sports fan perspective, I just left the epicenter of the NBA Finals experience to go to the flyover capital of the America. (I can say this about my home, you can't.) Admittedly, watching Game 1 with 11 other groomsmen was an experience unto itself, as my frat brother Todd was so fed up watching the end of the game that I'm pretty sure he left without paying his tab.
However, watching Game 2 with my mother at home definitely was the icing on the cake.
A brief background on my mother. She is a lovable fireball of emotion and wizardry. She has an uncanny way of noticing things that I'm continually oblivious of. Moreover, she is one of many in a long line of all-time great cussers in my family. As former cheerleader and beauty queen, she is all things woman, even when it comes to the basketball court. In other words, I have no idea how I am her son.
Anyway, here I am sitting in our living room with Mom, while I'm sipping my whiskey and she's sipping her brandy. The game tipped off and we were pumped. It was a great family moment. Then things started happening... via my tweets:
Watching Game 2 with my Mom, she is incensed that there are no cheerleaders on the court. #LoveHerSoMuch
— Eddie Maisonet, III (@edthesportsfan) June 8, 2015
Of course my mother would notice that the cheerleaders are nowhere to be found during Game 2 of the NBA Finals. Here I am wondering how Steph Curry forgot how to shoot and my mother is asking all the important questions.
During my mom's inquisition of the NBA and the audacity they have in ushering the cheerleaders off the court, the Cleveland Cavaliers decided to treat Timofey Mozgov like he was the best center in the Eastern Conference (17 points and 11 rebounds against the best defense in the NBA is pretty good). However, this wasn't good enough for my mother, and she let the big Russian know about himself.
My mother is cussing out Mozgov for some reason. It is as hilarious as it sounds.
— Eddie Maisonet, III (@edthesportsfan) June 8, 2015
Seriously, it was an impressive cussing display from my mother. Also, she displayed exactly how Mozgov should've scored by doing a post move hook shot from her reclining chair. It was incredible.
Then LeBron things started to happen. On one play, LeBron went to the rim and was fouled by at least 4 members of the Golden State Warriors. My mother then eloquently stated this:
Mom: “How many Golden States does it take to stop LeBron James? Good grief!” Me: =|
— Eddie Maisonet, III (@edthesportsfan) June 8, 2015
My mom wasn't done with defending LeBron, as Draymond Green decided to (accidentally) mollywhop LeBron in the face as he attacked the rim.
While my brain, the referees and the Twitter universe was wondering whether it should be a flagrant foul or a common foul on Draymond, my mother had the right answer:
Mom: I’d call a technical on Draymond. Me: Why? Mom: Because, he technically hit him in the face. Me: …. #LoveMeSomeHer
— Eddie Maisonet, III (@edthesportsfan) June 8, 2015
I mean...yes, she is 100% correct.
The Cavaliers somehow found a way to win one of the most hideous and entertaining games I've ever seen in NBA Finals history, 95-93 in overtime. We saw LeBron get a dunk blocked at the rim by Draymond and Steph Curry airball a potential game-winning shot in the last 30 seconds of the game, and my brain was fried.
My mom had the perfect solution.
Hey man, I’m stressed. I’m about to go bake some cookies with my mama. I’ll holla.
— Eddie Maisonet, III (@edthesportsfan) June 8, 2015
Moms are dope, even if they have no idea what they're talking about during the NBA Finals. Love you Mom, you are the greatest.
Eddie Maisonet is the founder and editor emeritus of The Sports Fan Journal. Currently, he serves as an associate editor for ESPN.com. He is an unabashed Russell Westbrook and Barry Switzer apologist, owns over 100 fitteds and snapbacks, and lives by Reggie Jackson’s famous quote, “I am the straw that stirs the drink.”
