Tattoos Are The Devil, Apparently: First Colin Kaepernick, Now John Wall

Let me kick this off by saying the following, I don't have a tattoo on my body, and I don't plan on getting a tattoo anytime soon. I've toyed with the idea once or twice, but I've never really been compelled to do such a thing like putting that ink on the body. Maybe I'll change my mind one day, but for now, I'm cool.

With that being said, in this day and age tattoos are no longer nearly as taboo as they once were. I see many corporate squares I've worked with talk openly about getting more tattoos in the middle of the boardroom while the VP was in the room listening intently. I've seen old women in my family talk openly about getting more tattoos. I've seen teenagers go with their parents to the tattoo parlor to go pick out tattoos. These things are all real. The days of being thought of as a thug, jailbird or vile miscreant has lessened severely over time, which is probably good for BIG TATTOO along with the sanity of the people.

However, with John Wall deciding to increase the tattoo coverage per square inch on his body during his final offseason of his rookie contract with the Washington Wizards, the Washington Post's Jason Reid tells us that the Wiz should reconsider giving Wall a max deal:

Posing shirtless recently for an Instagram photo, Wall revealed several tattoos. Wall’s interest in body art is surprising, considering he previously said he did not have tattoos because of concerns over his image for marketing reasons. Many NBA players do have tattoos, and Wall isn’t breaking new ground in sharing his ink with fans through social media.

But not every player flip-flops on a topic in such a public way. Factor in that Wall is expected to receive a huge payday from the Wizards next month, and the timing of his tattoo revelation raises questions about his decision making. For a franchise with a history of backing the wrong players, that’s food for thought.


Tattoos didn’t stop Miami’s LeBron James from becoming the league’s top corporate pitchman. Oklahoma City’s Kevin Durant has intricate body art and makes millions in endorsements. Chicago’s Derrick Rose is “all tatted up,” as the kids say these days, and he rakes in big bucks from his corporate partners. What’s the difference between those guys and Wall? Well, everything.

So John Wall is not to be trusted with a max deal because at one point during the beginning of his career he wanted to be clean-cut, and three years later he decided to get tattoos? Oh, OK.

What's hilarious is that the three guys Reid named are arguably three of the cleanest-cut superstars in the league. None of the three have ever been in the trouble in the league, and when those three guys got the tattoos, do you know what happened afterwards? Nothing. LeBron, Durant and Rose are three of the transcendent stars in this league, so pointing out that another player isn't those three is like being upset that your woman isn't a Victoria Secret model. I mean, she might look good in some Vickies, but she ain't the model, and that's OK. (Excuse me as I schedule a fap session for late this evening ...)

Look, Reid eventually made a few points worth considering when it comes to giving Wall a max deal. One of which is that knee injury he's recovering from. Are he and his game 100% back? That's a fair question. Are the Wizards in a bad spot because of it? Of course. But calling out Wall for tattoos as he asks for a max deal is just foolish, and realistically Wall being under his rookie deal is great for both sides. If Wall balls out, he'll get a max deal from someone. If he's good, not great, then the Wiz can make their decision from there, having as much information as possible to do so. Good for them.

Of course, we've been down this "tattoos are evil" thing in the past, as then Sporting News columnist David Whitley was oh so willing to let us know how he felt about the emerging star that is San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick and his tattoos:

San Francisco's Colin Kaepernick is going to be a big-time NFL quarterback. That must make the guys in San Quentin happy.

That guy decided to then cite the amount of tattoos amongst the California prison population, chiding middle-aged folks in the gym who have "barb-wire" tattoos and admitting that he's OK with LeBron "looking like an etch-a-sketch." Yep.

Meanwhile, after the Kaepernick-tattoos article came out, the bicep-kissing QB led his squad to an NFC West title and a birth in the Super Bowl. As a result, the 49ers sent their former starting quarterback to exile and are already planning on how to keep Kaepernick paid for the long term. Good for them.

I imagine if John Wall puts up an All-Star level performance, (on a still shitty team I might add) re-emerges as a top 10 point guard in the NBA and puts up career numbers in year four, the Wizards will back the Brinks truck to Wall's crib and tell him to swim in it. Regardless if he got all the face tattoos that Mike Tyson and Lil Wayne got.

Now excuse me as I go peruse some butterfly tattoos to put on the side of my neck foot.

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