In the late summer of 2005, Terrell Owens, star wide receiver of the Philadelphia Eagles, was doing sit-ups in his driveway instead of catching footballs from Donovan McNabb at training camp. To this day, I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps T.O. realized that he would go broke soon after his career ended and would be forced to sue his agent in hopes of escaping bankruptcy. So he memorably employed said agent, Drew Rosenhaus, to aid him in holding out of camp for more money.
It was a terrible look for Owens and an even worse look for the franchise that employed him. T.O. had turned in a super-human effort in the Super Bowl the previous January against the dynastic Patriots. He caught 9 balls for 122 yards on a broken leg as the Eagles came within three points of capturing the elusive Lombardi Trophy. With McNabb, Owens, Brian Westbrook and Brian Dawkins, among others on the squad, the Birds looked to erase the ignominy of four straight NFC Championship appearances without a Super Bowl win in the coming years.
In the fans' eyes, Owens' shenanigans derailed that campaign. As a result, T.O. jerseys became taboo. At a Phillies game that same August, a child of no more than 10 paced the sidewalks outside of Citizen's Bank Park with a black Eagles Owens jersey on his back. An adult passerby stopped when he saw the young fan and proceeded to berate the child in front of his father. In a moment that screams "Philadelphia," the accosting adult booed the child relentlessly as he scurried away.
Now, I don't condone the possibly/probably inebriated fan's behavior. But the child's father has to know better. You absolutely could not, and still can't, wear a Terrell Owens jersey in South Philadelphia. It is unwearable.
Every franchise has a jersey like Owens, a football faux pas if you will. Some, like my Eagles, have more than one. With that in mind, TSFJ presents an arbitrary list of the most unwearable jerseys per NFL franchise. Is your favorite team's least favorite player missing from this list? Share your thoughts, and hate, in the comments below.
NFC East
Washington Redskins
Rex Grossman - Call him "RG negative Three"
Dallas Cowboys
Roy Williams - Three words from Justin Tinsley sums it up:
"Both of them." -- Justin Tinsley.
New York Giants
Tiki Barber - Aaron Ross got serious consideration, but as my man Jason Clinkscales said, "No matter how much [Giants fans] hate Ross now, Barber managed to nuke his good will faster than Maury could say 'You are ... '"
Philadelphia Eagles
Chris Boniol - Out of all the Eagles to choose from, why a kicker? He's a former Cowboy who went from hitting everything to hitting nothing. And his teams were horrendous.
NFC South
Atlanta Falcons
Eugene Robinson - It's hard to find a crime more notorious than "dog killing," but Robinson offers a strong contender. Eugene, you're supposed to solicit a prostitute after you win the Super Bowl, not before you lose it.
Carolina Panthers
Rae Carruth - Let's hope that anyone who ever owned a Carruth jersey has put it in a fire or in a landfill long ago.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Bo Jackson - The Bucs drafted Jackson with the number one overall pick even though Bo insisted he would never play for the team. Anyone who deigns to wear a Jackson creamsicle represents a terrible owner, a "what if" case and one of the saddest chapters of a once moribund franchise.
New Orleans Saints
Kyle Turley - Per a friend of the family and Saints fan David D.:
"Kyle Turley was a useless player for the Saints who yelled a lot and had fans until he lost his mind against the Jets, tossed a helmet and cost the Saints a possible playoff spot. His son, Jeremy Shockey, went on to be the bountygate Deep Throat." -- @DavidDTSS
AFC North
Green Bay Packers
Brett Favre - Too soon according to Packer fans. As my good friend Dan said:
"Too awesome of a future and present for the team to be wearing the past. Only exception: If it has SB XXXI patches." -- Dan
Chicago Bears
Rex Grossman - Might go down as the worst quarterback to ever lead a 13-3 team. That defense should have won a Super Bowl. Blame Rex for everything.
Minnesota Vikings
Gary Anderson - In Minnesota, mentioning "Gary Anderson" and "1998" in the same sentence is a crime punishable by death. Okay, not death but you will get banished to Wisconsin.
Detroit Lions
Joey Harrington - Basically anyone not named Barry Sanders or Calvin Johnson. Harrington is the lowest of the low. Well, 0-16 is really the lowest of the low, but Harrington is pretty damn close.
NFC West
San Francisco 49ers
J.J. Stokes - From Clinkscales again:
"J.J. STOKES WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE HEIR APPARENT TO JERRY LEE RICE?!?!?!?!?! F***. OUTTA. here." -- Clinkscales
Seattle Seahawks
Jerramy Stevens - Guaranteed a victory in the Super Bowl. Caught three balls in said Super Bowl. Assaulted Hope Solo. Married her the next day.
Arizona Cardinals
Derek Anderson - A talentless, humorless quarterback who couldn't get Larry Fitz the rock.
St. Louis Rams
Tony Banks - Eighty-eight (!) turnovers in three seasons. The clown who preceded The Greatest Show on Turf.
AFC East
New England Patriots
Aaron Hernandez - See the Panthers.
Miami Dolphins
Jay Fiedler - Dan Marino he was not. He made sure to end all comparisons by throwing nearly as many interceptions as touchdowns.
Buffalo Bills
Rob Johnson - The Bills paid $25 million for Johnson and then benched him in favor of a Canadian Football Leaguer (granted it was Doug Flutie but still).
New York Jets
Mark Sanchez - Wear this in public and see how long it takes for someone to call you a "butt fumbler."
AFC South
Houston Texans
David Carr - This isn't really fair for Carr, but he did get drafted with the number one overall pick. And there was that egregious ESPN commercial where the fan predicted that the Texans would win the Super Bowl by their third season. Whoops.
Indianapolis Colts
Jeff George - Signed the richest rookie contract in history. Proceeded to go 14-35 as a starter for Indy. Taunted home fans and demanded a trade. Colts fans, he is the reason God gave you Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck.
Tennessee Titans
Vince Young- This top draft choice won Rookie of the Year before being replaced as a starter by first Kerry Collins and later Rusty Smith, whoever the hell that is.
Jacksonville Jaguars
Matt Jones - Fun fact. Matt Jones has more drug-related arrests, three, than the Jaguars had wins last year. Ed, your thoughts?
"If this video of Matt Jones being talked about by his former college coach Houston Nutt didn't exist, a video in which Matt Jones decided to call himself 'Rodney,' then I'd choose [Josh] Scobee instead." -- Ed (see video above)
AFC North
Cincinnati Bengals
Odell Thurman - I feel bad for Ohio pro football. Thurman was one of many terrible Bengals draft picks. It's never good to have "Drug and Alcohol Problems" as a section on your Wikipedia page.
Baltimore Ravens
Kyle Boller - From the one and only NFL Chick:
"Brian Billick, the 'genius' offensive-minded coach, drafted Boller because he could throwing 50 yard from HIS F*CKING KNEES! But he did nothing else to prove why he should have been drafted so high, 19th overall. The Ravens ranked top 10 in defense pretty much every year that Boller started, but never made the playoffs. Worst tenure ever as a Ravens fan, hands down.
Pittsburgh Steelers
Limas Sweed - Seven career receptions. Seven. He really let down all the other Limases out there.
Cleveland Browns
Tim Couch - Wait, no, Courtney Brown. Actually, Jake Delhomme. Consensus: Almost anyone but Jim Brown.
AFC West
Denver Broncos
Maurice Clarett - "It's a humbling thing being humble"- Mo Clarett
San Diego Chargers
Ryan Leaf - Because watching the guy who used to be the equal to Peyton Manning go apeshit on a reporter will always be funny.
Oakland Raiders
DeAngelo Hall - Andrew Walter here, maybe? Nah, we got someone better.
"I'd put DeAngelo Hall over Andrew Walter. Andrew Walter was supposed to suck, and he really, really did. DeAngelo wasn't supposed to, and he really, really did. I wouldn't mind seeing Trent Richardson truck stick his entire dome off." -- Phillip Barnett
Kansas City Chiefs
Brodie Croyle - Apparently Brodie Croyle has a hot wife. At least he won off the field.
