Starting Lineups: Major League Miami Marlins No Hit Fans


To round out the regular baseball season on Sunday, the most unlikely of all no-hitters took place in Miami, Florida when Henderson Alvarez threw nine full innings of hitless baseball, yet still his work was not quite done. Because Alvarez is a member of the Miami Marlins, and nothing quite comes easy when that is a condition of your existence. Yet, as he stood on deck ready to take some swings to help his own cause and finally bring an end to the game of his life, Detroit Tigers pitcher Luke Potkonen unleashed a wild pitch, which let Giancarlo Stanton score on and brought as implausible of an end to the game as a Marlins no-hitter is in any regard.

To commemorate the event, the Marlins decided to print off commemorative tickets to the game, which sold for $15 each (much more than I could imagine anybody actually paid to see the actual game). But only one problem here: they couldn’t even get that gesture right. On the reprinted tickets, the incorrect date of the event was printed on the face of them, showing it as October 3rd, a date that the 62-100 Marlins finished 34 games behind of qualifying to play on.


And to make matters worse, the “tickets” were actually just PDF files printed off and redistributed in the form of the type of online tickets you would get from Stubhub. So, while recreating an overpriced, wrongly dated, fake ticket, they spared no expense…while not costing themselves anything. Could there possibly be a more Marlins move than that?

Yet and still, it’s a move that seems oddly familiar; one that is reminciesent of the Cleveland Indians of the early 90’s. No, not the Carlos Baerga/Albert Belle-led Tribe, but rather the bootleg Indians of “Major League” fame. Really, all of the same factors are in place: there is the bootleg ownership of Jeffery Loria, in the style of Rachel Phelps. There’s the attendance low enough for a single fan to be heard as well as the PA system, and the comparisons hardly stop there…

  • There’s Jose Fernandez, the wild young flame thrower, who would just as much fight as he would get run up strikeouts, in a style that Charlie Sheen’s “Wild Thing” Ricky Vaughn would embrace as a brother.
  • There’s Logan Morrison, who is just as much personality as ballplayer, in a pure Willie Mays Hayes style (no matter whether you take your WMH as Snipes or Epps)
  • And there’s even Stanton, as the mashing slugger of questionable ethnic background, to play the role of Pedro Cerano

The hi-jinks don’t stop on South Beach come baseball season, but we just have to hope that maybe Fernandez shows up to spring training in a cutoff, leather jacket with Mohawk to bring this whole scenario full circle.

Outside of the circus to end the season, here’s what else is going on in the world today:

Jordan: "I Could Have Beat LeBron, but not Kobe - He Stole My Moves" - ESPN

The Exchange: See You In June, Lord Stanley! - The Exchange, October 1

Henrik Stenson's Victory and the Rise of Sweden - Dillon Friday, US Golf TV

Jason Kidd’s talk with Kevin Garnett about playing time ‘didn’t go too well’ -

Army, Navy, Air Force All Cancelled Games Until Government Shutdown Ends - Sports Grid

Terrell Suggs Thinks Roger Goodell Was to Blame for the Blackout at the Super Bowl - Complex

KKK Rally Canceled Due To Government Shutdown - WUSA9

Is Mike Tyson Hurting The US Olympic Boxing Team? - Yahoo! Sports

Street Fighter Vs. Plants vs. Zombies Vs. Your Eyeballs - Kotaku

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