The week between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl is the week in sports that is the saddest. Football season is about to be over and its penultimate game, the one right before the season reaches its thrilling peak, is the Pro Bowl.
The Pro Bowl sucks. It's really, really horrible. It's an overrated scrimmage with no defense and nothing matters at all. All it's good for is a measuring stick of talent on teams. Fans can say "hey, X many guys from my team went to the Pro Bowl" when none of them actually watched the damn thing.
But what is that title even worth anymore? In some spots, almost half the starters in the league can claim they were a Pro Bowler in 2015.
So far this week, we've seen Andy Dalton added to the Pro Bowl, as the seventh alternate. Of the original six quarterbacks selected, only two will play: Andrew Luck and Tony Romo. Then came a litany of injuries and other excuses - Baltimore quarterback Joe Flacco excused himself from the "competition" as his wife is expecting - that led to Dalton being able to call himself a Pro Bowler despite being the 13th selection for the Pro Bowl.
But, really, who can you blame? There are some guys who are hurt while some guys are still playing - both New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (part of the original six Pro Bowl quarterback this year) and Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson (the third alternate) will take no part in the 2015 Pro Bowl.
Plus there are probably some players who, like the rest of us, don't give a damn about the Pro Bowl.
Put yourself into his shoes. You've been at this job where people are out to hit you as hard as they can for months, working long and late, and then you get this opportunity to do it all over again for another week in the name of.....a check and a little professional pride?
Miss me with that.
What makes it even worse is, in a lame-ass attempt to be relevant stateside, the NFL moved the Pro Bowl back to the continental United States instead of in Hawaii, taking away most, if not all, incentive to actually go to the damn thing.
To further illustrate my point, this is roughly how a conversation would go between my agent, telling me I made it to the Pro Bowl, and me, a football player.
AGENT: Hey, got some good news for you! You made it to the Pro Bowl!
ME: Oh, great. So how much do I get paid for that?
AGENT: Well, uh, the Pro Bowl clause in your contract doesn't get triggered because you didn't make the original ballot, so, you get $26,000 if you lose and $53,000 if you win.
ME: So, what is that in terms of a regular game check?
AGENT: Well, erm, it's a small fraction of what you'd take home for a week of work.
ME: Ok. So, where do I get sent for extra week of work?
AGENT: You'd be going to Glendale, Arizona.
ME: *muffled laughter*
AGENT: Excuse me?
ME: Hey, hey, I'm here. I didn't hear that last part clearly, wanna run that by me again? *puts agent on speakerphone* *sneaks whole family into the room*
AGENT: For this extra week of work where you'd get paid a fraction of what you'd usually make, you'll be in Glendale, Arizona.
MY WHOLE FAMILY, together: *laughter*
AGENT: OH HELL.
ME: Ahahaha...hahaha..haha....ha. Whew, buddy. That's a good one. Tell them I'm hurt or something. My car doesn't leave the driveway for any less than a game check. *hangs up*
But, that's just me. What about you? If you were a pro football player selected for the Pro Bowl, would you go? Answer in the comments section below.
